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CucumberTime
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Profile Headline: It's Cucumber Time
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About Me
Username: CucumberTime
Gender: TS/TV/TG
Body Type: Large
Ethnicity: Various
Eyes: Green
Age: 26
City: Cucumberville
Country: United States
Sexual Preference: Bisexual
Marital Status: Involved
Occupation/Major: I am occupied with Cucumbers!
School: School of Hard Knock Cucumbers
Favorite Food: Don't even look at me like that. You know.
Pets: I grow Cucumbers
Interests & Hobbies
Meaning of Life: Cucumbers in vaginas!
Five Things I Can't Live Without: Cucumber, cucumer, cucumer, cucumber....and I can't think of a fifth.
Craziest Thing I've Ever Done: It was a warm Saturday night and I had too much energy and nothing to do. I was about to crawl out of my own skin, so I jumped into my car and decided to go for a night ride. It was warm and wet outside and I had my windows rolled down listening to some jams. The road was long and winding and I was all alone. I turned a sharp curve in the tiwsting road and saw the blinding flash of headlights coming right for me. Right before metal touched metal time stopped and I looked right into the eyes of the driver before me. It was a girl with a beauty that was etherial and unreal. Hey eyes peirced mine. They were wide with surprise. Beautiful eyes. But..what I saw in that car before our vehicles entwined into a deadly embrace...It's what haunts my dreams to this very day. There was a ripe moist cucumber protruding from her vagina. The intense green of it's tight skin is burned into my memory. We ran into eachother and I blacked out embracing cold death. But alas death was not my fate. I awoke with a peircing headache...my car was a steaming pile of metal, but there was not one trace of the beautiful cucumber woman or her car....Now I feel nothing but the desire to see her eyes and that cucumber comming from her vagina. I am an empty haunted man and the only thing that can cure me is more cucumber in vagina.
Hobbies: I grow cucumbers and stick them in vaginas.
Perfect Mate: I would love a woman who is open to cucumberality. Somebody who is ready for the time of the Cucumber.
Perfect Date: A girl and a cucumber. You do the math.
Turn Ons/Offs: Cucumbers in vaginas.
Best Reason to Get to Know Me: I give the best cucumber fuck you will ever know. You will never be the same.
Message Wall
This is the greatest semi-trolling, semi-dgaf profile ever. And you sir, are a genius. <3
I want to slice you up, put you on top of my salad, dip you in hummus, and eat you.
<3
I find both of your pictures disturbing.
And I shall raise you up, Oh Great Chicken of Hope, and I shall sacrifice you with my diamond sword. Then I shall jump off the cliff and join you in the Great Golden Nest of the Sky.
Cucumbers originated in India where they have been grown for 3,000 years. Related to melons, squash and pumpkins, cucumbers are a member of the gourd family and are 95% water. The largest cucumber ever recorded weighed 59 lbs. Most cucumbers sold in supermarkets have a thin layer of wax applied to add shine and appeal to the eye. This also reduces the coarseness and risk of breakage. Natural cucumbers have a dull green color with no shine. Any item to be inserted into your body must be cleaned thoroughly as many fruits and vegetables will have dirt, chemicals or yeast spores on their skins when purchased. Nothing should be inserted that could break and leave parts inside you. Additional risks come from the fact that some foods may leave sugars behind that could encourage yeast growth (thrush). Eating the item after use is a matter of choice, but it would be safest to wash it thoroughly before consuming it, given the slight risk of bacterial infection.
i have a crush on you

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