Hi TeamJ! I apologize for being M.I.A lately but I doubt you guys will be disappointed for long. I've been finishing up my last semester of college. I graduate NEXT MONTH! :D Along with this, I've been working on various projects. Most of which include you guys. See? I never forgot about you all! I've been building a new site/room for you all which features HD cam and personal self portraits I've been making that I've never shared here due to the work being really close to my heart. But on my own home on the internet, I hope to share a lot more with you all. I will be streaming my first art gallery show LIVE on my website as well as my graduation! To stay up to date with all of this follow me on twitter @frozenpolaroid. Site will be announced there when launched. <3 I'll see you guys again soon! xoxo
January 22, 2012
I will be back on cam for my show Deep Blue Secret. This week is my last week on break before school starts up again and sadly, I will no longer have as much time to hangout with you all, so I really want to make this last week special. I've spent weeks in the planning and creation of Deep Blue Secret and I would be more than thrilled to see you all there that night. Deep Blue Secret will start on Thursday around 10pm CST! Join me that night here on MFC for sexy, breathtaking, fun! You won't regret it. )
December 21, 2012
Hello! It's almost Christmas. I just wanted to wish you all a happy holidays! I will be back on MFC soon. I just finished my second to last semester of college and I am ready to relax on my winter break! Join me as I get back online for the holidays. I will be back soon. Stay connected and find out the exact dates I will be back as I find out, by following me on twitter! I miss you all. I hope to see you there!
October 2, 2012
Wow these months pass by fast! :) I've begun sending mail to the Panzii mailisters. However, some mail are bouncing back for one reason or another. So if you did not receive mail, and you are on the mailing list, please MFC mail me and I'll get you back on track ^^. Thank you
September 30, 2012
Panzii Radio is now LIVE 24/7! Pop in and say hello. :)
Attention all Panzii Mailisters! ^^ The mailing list will start sending out awesome emails on October 1st until 2013! Soon you'll find my thoughts along with self portraits, snapshots & everything that has inspired, amused, & touched my heart. It's not too late to join. Look below at #fighting for more info.
September 15, 2012
Please listen to my voice announcement HERE >Click Here for a Kiva Invite! *update 10.27* I realize a lot of people were confused how Kiva does what they do.
Check out the 'About' page, it describes a lot of there process and even shows you there taxes.
About Kiva Kiva is a non profit organization, so with huge supporters like the CEO of Skype and Chase, etc, it's really helped them launch their site, and their beautiful cause. The money they receive from donators like these, goes straight back to there members as a means of promoting and getting people to sign up and take the initiative to help others.
Good news is that together, we have already raised $450 and helped create opportunities for 18 individuals living in developing countries. Thank you so much guys for helping me make this happen.
September 9, 2012
Hey guys! If you've been wondering where I've been, my school semester started up at the end of August and I have since been putting all my of my time into school. However, if you really miss me you can come by Panzii Radio and say hello. I play music live 24/7 from my playlist and you can chat, leave a message, or hear my voice whenever I am by my computer. The password to tune in is on my twitter @frozenpolaroid So make sure you follow me to stay up to date on my where-abouts!
September 1, 2012
TeamJ... You picked me up and made me feel alive and untouchable. We're proof of what we could do. When I feel as if the whole world is turning against me, I realize no one can hurt me when I have those who love me. MFC doesnt have to swallow you, you can swallow MFC with your positive energy, good vibes and passionate dedication. Believe in your heart, believe in love.
Remember that always. I love you guys. This month I've met a lot of new friends and spent a lot of time hanging out with old ones. Thank you all for believing in me. Thank you for proving me wrong every time I doubted myself. Thank you for making me smile. Thank you for supporting my art, my personality, and my studies. I can go on forever for all that you've done for me. But I just want you all to know that I feel deeply humble. Thank you TeamJ!
All about me
I am just a girl raised in a small town.. I remember roaming the quiet roads on my bike and felt that I was not really getting anywhere. I was not learning enough.. I knew there was more to the life and world around me than what my eyes could see. I felt stuck, like there were so many unknown and infinite opportunities that I was not chasing.
I told myself I will not fall in the trap of ignorance. Of not being able to recognize freedom. I am young, and if watching my older siblings and peers teach me anything, it is that the people around me are slowly losing grip of their free souls as time passes and as we grow older. Do we really grow wiser? Or do we contaminate our minds and forget what we naturally taught ourselves and felt within ourselves as a child? Life is too short to be bitter. I will live with a free spirit, a free soul and have 'unrealistic' goals. I followed my heart and soul, and left home, family, friends, and everything I knew to a place where I can surround myself by the arts. I was driven to understand and to learn about the world around me. And most importantly, I was driven to understand and express myself visually. Everyone back home thought I was silly and quite unrealistic. But I am here... Chasing my dream as an artist, relying only on the fuel, the influence of desire, that ran it.
I began studying the arts in the city after being accepted to a amazing art university. I came into the city just to fully utilize my life's most vibrant gift. Here I became a freelance photographer and a photography student. I loved what I was not familiar with. I want to learn. I want to create art. I want to express.. and create a life that is meaningful to me.
But as much as I did everything in my power to take advantage of every photo opportunity and worked late nights waiting tables, it was not enough for me to pay for rent, and the giant loans I have taken out for school. That's what led me here to MFC. But I expected to run into financial issues. Nothing in life is conveniently laid out for you like that. Sometimes following your heart is a die hard battle. Nothing worth having comes easy.
So Who Am I on MFC?
I am not your ordinary cam girl. As great as it might be to fit right in, I wanted to make sure I stayed true to myself, and who I am. People come into my room asking me why I am here because I am not butt naked thrusting objects inside myself. Simple, because it is not me, because I don't want to. I decided I could be a part of this in my own way because I can not come all this way and work so hard to allow a little bump in the road make me lose grip of who I am. Before you think/say anything, YES I understand what the MFC community is. I get it. But I comply to all the rules and entertain your sexual senses in a way that is different but unique.. Which I can possibly be hated for. But maybe... someone can appreciate me.. Appreciate a young woman who is a little different, a little off from the rest of the community.. I have a genuine interest in talking to you, if you have the genuine interest in getting to know me. It's your sincerity in which would gain my trust.
Maybe I am not quick to sell you sex. It's not because I'm against it. It's just not every man have respect for women. Some find whipping their private parts is empowering whilst a body of a naked woman deems her trash. It's really very hypocritical. I believe that in a sea of ignorant people are the very few who are genuinely kind hearted. It's almost as if it's instinctual for humans to pick out the bad flaws of someone. For some reason, it makes us as human feel better about ourselves to find flaws in others. It's silly how people do that. Silly how putting others down is some how fulfilling but I don't expect MFC to be a world full of kind hearted people.
Come to think of it, I never imagined myself working on a site like this for that very reason. Maybe I am simply not fit for the job.
But it has also become the very reason that makes me different. I don't have aspirations to become a pornstar. I don't fit in and sometimes I am not accepted by many because I have no aspirations of that sort. I just aspire to graduate and blossom into a talented artist and create and sell art.
I'm unique because I am just different... but really, I am just an ordinary nerdy college girl and very much not a norm on MFC. I do not possess some special power to seduce you or some special sexual skill.. Maybe the power to express myself visually with my art. It's the only thing in my life I am most passionate about. It's the one thing I can truly say makes me special.
Being a girl on a site like this creates a struggle and a desire for me to try to be understood because when you're on a porn site everyone has their expectations as to how a girl should be- a girl I don't know how to be. So I take my profile as a chance to acknowledge that I'm not perfect. I'm not writing to convince you to like me. To expect everyone to like me would be quite unrealistic. I just want to have a voice and to open doors to those who are interested. Here on MFC, all I have is these words to express myself.
I have to cater to my heart and stay true, before I do yours. I have a heart that helps me feel, and a mind with constant running thoughts. I am here to feed your senses in sensibly erotic ways, to allow your mind to wander in which ever direction you'd like to take it. I am here to share everything that I am and all of what's me, nothing less. I hold value in staying true and at the end of the day I dont mind if you think I am not good enough because I can only be me and be the best me I can possibly be.
Thank you for taking your time to read this. It touches me that someone out there is interested in my thoughts in a place where I can be so unfitting. Most people are quick to make snap judgments on a girl at face value, but it really does takes one to get to know someone, to understand them. Of course I always hope to meet someone who will come to love me as a person and hopefully whom I will come to trust as well. Perhaps if you took the chance to get to know me better, I may surprise you. Feel free to watch or not, as you see fit. I am not here to be loved or hated. I am simply here to be me.
Shoutout to the Panzii Core
I have to say that I would not have accomplished the many goals I have accomplished and the goals I am still striving for if not because of you all. Thank you :)
Click here to see the critique
I'm posting the critique portion of a performance where I revealed my identity as Panzii for the first time to my colleagues in my Art School. Several years ago, I would have never ever thought Id do something like this afraid people would misjudge me. I was really nervous during the whole performance and there was definitely more that I wanted to say but choked up out of nervousness. You guys helped give me the strength to expose myself to my class and to stand up for everything our room is and who I am.
You all gave me the strength to feel confident about what this room means to me and what I do. My room is a place where I can stay true to myself and also became where I can spend my time with people I can call my friends.
This took a lot for my colleagues to understand because of the labels given simply from being on a porn site. But my experience here on MFC helped me reinvent what it means to be feminine and true. MFC became a outlet for my feminity and sexuality, and also allowed my creativity to run wild. If it were not for the support from you guys, I wouldnt be able to be where I am now- both morally, and intellectually. And after the class was given a chance to be a part of our room, they began to realize and understand the complexity of how , as one of my colleagues described, 'tight-knit' our community is.
You guys made it possible to turn this little space I call Panzii, into my own. You guys gave me the strength to not feel shameful because you all are what makes my room unique and allows all of what makes Panzii possible. All of the time you have spent with me thus far has been unbelievable and I promise to continue giving back and showing you all how much you really mean to me. Its because of you guys that I am not afraid to be Panzii. MFC is a sacred place for me where I can coincide with people who love and support me and where I feel free and unjudged.
I hope to continue inspiring you guys, the same way you all have inspired me.
Follow me on Twitter
Please take a moment to follow me on twitter. It's the only way to stay in contact with me and find out the next time I come on! (Making an account is really easy too!) I tweet a lot throughout my day and if you want to talk to me, feel free to tweet me. ^.^
Visit my blog New blog post on October 2, 2012.
Surprise me with a gift. ^^
please do not copy, or reiterate my profile for your own. I'm happy that my profile has inspired some of you but I spent a lot of time writing my own profile, and I'd appreciate if you do the same. An imitated profile is never better than a profile that came straight from your heart.
My favorite Quotes:
'We were trying to convey the message of peace, which was the hardware, and when we were in love, that was the software.' -Yoko Ono
'When you put out a statement it is never destroyed. It's a very strange thing. It lives forever. It's a very interesting word, >>forever<<, because it sounds like a kind of conceptual word but no... It's a word with eight letters, but it's infinite.'
It's good to have an end to journey towards, but it's the journey that matters in the end.
-Ursula K. Le Guin