WonderShowzen
Status:
Last Login:
6 years ago
Last Updated:
About Me
Username:
WonderShowzen
Gender:
Male
Body Type:
Large
Weight:
240 pounds
Height:
74 inches
Age:
49
City:
Ohio, city of lights.
Country:
United States
Sexual Preference:
Straight
Smoke:
Herb
Drink:
Light
Marital Status:
Married
Occupation/Major:
I publish 'zines... and rage against machines.
School:
Very little.
Favorite Food:
I have an adventurous palate, but my favorite is pizza because it's so versatile.
Pets:
Automobile:
I enjoy compact hatchbacks because, like pizza, they are extremely versatile.
About Me:
Disclaimer:
Wonder Showzen contains offensive, despicable content that is too controversial and too awesome for actual children. The stark, ugly and profound truths Wonder Showzen exposes may be soul-crushing to the weak of spirit. If you allow a child to watch this show, you are a bad parent or guardian.
Tags:
luscious apparatus, dirty husband slut, internet floozy
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Favorite Models:
PeachyKeenBBW
Interests & Hobbies
Meaning of Life:
I wish, as a society, we would all agree to fuck each other more.
Five Things I Can't Live Without:
I like an eyeball.
I like a funny car.
I like a monster truck.
Favorite Books:
I mostly read technical manuals these days. Those aside I like sci-fi (Heinlein, Niven), fantasy (Tolkein, Glen Cook), and humor/sci-fi/fantasy hybrids (Douglas Adams, Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett).
Favorite Songs:
Ships were made for sinking...
whiskey made for drinking!
If we were made of cellophane
we'd all get stinking drunk much faster, bahahaha!
whiskey made for drinking!
If we were made of cellophane
we'd all get stinking drunk much faster, bahahaha!
(Camptown ladies never sang all the doo-dah day, no no no.)
Favorite Movies:
The Cohen brothers, Wes Anderson, Paul Thomas Anderson. You know... the monsters of hipster cinema.
Craziest Thing I've Ever Done:
So I jump ship in Hong Kong and I make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper... you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-lagunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, 'Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort.' And he says, 'Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.'
So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.
If I Could Be Anywhere Right Now:
In a Bathysphere... it feels like home because it's roughly the same shape as I am and it caters to my deeply antisocial nature.
When I was seven my father said to me,
'But you can't swim.'
And I've never dreamed of the sea again.
When I was seven my father said to me,
'But you can't swim.'
And I've never dreamed of the sea again.
Hobbies:
I drink til I'm drunk, and I smoke til I'm senseless.
Perfect Mate:
Devils speak of the way in which she'll manifest.
Angels bleed from the tainted touch of her caress.
Angels bleed from the tainted touch of her caress.
Like a sluttier version of Amy Schumer. :heart
Perfect Date:
The mongrel cat came home
Holding half a head
Proceeded to show it off
To all his new found friends
He said I been where I liked
I slept with who I like
She ate me up for breakfast
She screwed me in a vice
But now
I don't know why
I feel so tongue-tied
Holding half a head
Proceeded to show it off
To all his new found friends
He said I been where I liked
I slept with who I like
She ate me up for breakfast
She screwed me in a vice
But now
I don't know why
I feel so tongue-tied
Turn Ons/Offs:
Ons: Make me feel really dirty. Offs: Hold on a minute... I'll think of one.
Best Reason to Get to Know Me:
There isn't one. Who does this WonderShowzen guy think he is, anyway? Fuck him.
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