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Profile Headline: I know when I'm not wanted and that's when I'm most needed!
Last Login: within 7 days
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About Me
Username: I_Am_Albert
Gender: Male
Body Type: Ample
Ethnicity: Other
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Brown
Age: 36
Country: Canada
Sexual Preference: Straight
Smoke: Non Smoker
Drink: Non Drinker
Drugs: Never
Marital Status: Single
Occupation/Major: Panty Inspector
Favorite Food: Cheeseburger
Pets: Cat
About Me: I'm not the smartest person in the world but I am the ugliest and no one can take that away from me.
Tags: respectful, friendly, funny, male, loyal, crazy, sarcastic, pervert, easy going, freaky, ass lover
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Interests & Hobbies
Meaning of Life: 42
Five Things I Can't Live Without: Food, water, oxygen, porn, & the internet
Favorite Books: Stephen King's Gunslinger Series & A Song of Ice and Fire series
What I Like To Do For Fun: Play with my penis.
Favorite Songs: Mostly classic rock and metal, but I listen to a bit of everything.
Favorite Movies: The Dark Knight, Tombstone, Serenity, Lord of War, Dogma, Indiana Jones the Original Trilogy, Star Wars the Original Trilogy, Gremlins, Short Circuit 2, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Princess Bride, Shaun of the Dead, Sin City, Ghostbusters, Beetlejuice, Pee-wee's Big Adventure, Spaceballs, Ernest Goes to Camp, Sleepy Hollow, Terminator 2, Aladdin, and some other stuff I can't think of right now.
Craziest Thing I've Ever Done: This one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my ass...
If I Could Be Anywhere Right Now: Behind You! :P
Hobbies: Television, sports, anime, music, movies, and porn!
Talents: Premature ejaculation
Perfect Mate: Pri
Perfect Date: One that ends in sex.
Turn Ons/Offs: Turn Ons: Asses, Boobs, Pussy, Cuteness, Anal Play, Unnaturally Colored Hair (Pink, Blue, etc.), Positive Personality. Turn Offs: Feet/Foot Play, Racism, Bigotry, Negative Personality.
Best Reason to Get to Know Me: I'm secretly a ninja turtle fighting in the hunger games, disguising myself as a transformer when necessary. My talent is the 'Electric shock' pokemon move and I never pass up an opportunity to get a picture with a dead cow.
Message Wall
hi bb.. open bobs? ah teep ewe!
You wall love is lame! These twats hases uh complete lack of ~*WIN*~ ALBERRE WALL Loooooove!!!!!! Morgannah tips ~*INFINITY Tokens*~ towards Albert's AWESOMENESS!!!!!!!!! ~ You're Welcum! <3
Hi honey, I invite you to my room to have a nice time ...
hello dear how are you?
hi, kiss
hi honey! have a nice day
the lolli (or lacey) is a fun girl. see u in there some time
...I said... GOOD DAY SIR!!!
Third post of 2014!!! ... in da butt... ... like uh BOSS!!! ... says EVERYONE!!!
First post of 2014! Suck it bitches!!!!! says Bf...
~*Happy Birthday my dear friend*~ Thank you for being such an amazing person! I'm truly lucky to know you and have you be a part of my life! Have a most wonderful day!
hy bb....Im online now and wait u in my room to enjoy my body....kiss u
One Friday afternoon two women are sitting on the front porch. The first woman says, 'Here comes my husband with a bunch of flowers. That means I'll be on my back with my legs in the air all weekend.' The other woman asks, 'Why, don't you have a vase?'

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