TommyThong
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Profile Headline:
I am Victoria's secret!
Last Login:
7 years ago
Last Updated:
My Most Recent Pictures
About Me
Username:
TommyThong
Gender:
Male
Body Type:
Slim/Petite
Ethnicity:
Various
Hair:
Multi
Eyes:
Variable
Weight:
369 kilos
Height:
48 inches
Age:
98
City:
Benout
Country:
Benin
Sexual Preference:
Straight
Smoke:
Heavy
Drink:
Heavy
Drugs:
Heavy User
Marital Status:
Widowed
Occupation/Major:
Professor of Panties
School:
Scripps Institute of Unmentionables
Favorite Food:
Fish-Tacos
Pets:
A leaverite rock
Automobile:
Leonopteryx
About Me:
I'm a sickened minded spirit and my mirror tells me lies. I often mistake myself for someone who lives behind my eyes. I hear whispers in the darkness and all the lies their words convey. Manic depression befriends me. In a twisted game I hate to play. My existence is enigmatic. My mental health has slipped away. Sanity left me long ago. An endless price I have to pay.
Tags:
Articulate, Loquacious, Antagonistic, Somber
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Photo Galleries
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Recent Photo
Interests & Hobbies
Meaning of Life:
Well, it's nothing very special. Try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations. Avoiding filthy people doing heinous things to each other with chainsaws, teachers babysitters being stabbed with knitting needles by gay political candidates, vigilante groups of circus clowns strangling baby chickens, and armed bands of theater critics exterminating mutant goats during Tupperware parties is always a a good idea.
Five Things I Can't Live Without:
1.) Air
2.) Water
3.) Food
4.) Sleep
5.) My collection of thumbtacks
Favorite Books:
Playboy's Book of Lingerie, Roget's Thesaurus, Oxfords English Dictionary.
What I Like To Do For Fun:
Thinking inside the box, Train deaf seeing-eye dogs to count to infinity, Rearrange index cards at libraries, Paint myself into corners.
Favorite Songs:
Elevator music/Muzak, Zamfir and his hypnotic Pan-Flute.
Favorite Movies:
White Panty Chronicles; Vols. 1-4.
Craziest Thing I've Ever Done:
Memorized every volume of The Encyclopedia Britannica...backwards.
If I Could Be Anywhere Right Now:
I'd climb back under the rock from whence I came.
Hobbies:
Underwater BB stacking, Coloring outside the lines, Watching paint dry, Collecting belly-button lint, and picking my friend's noses.
Talents:
I speak 18 different languages (although none fluently), Chewing gum and walking, Breathing.
Perfect Mate:
Anyone who has enough money to adopt me.
Perfect Date:
Sitting by a video-recorded fire on the T.V., while listening to static on the radio, eating 3 day old macaroni and cheese and drinking flat grape soda.
Turn Ons/Offs:
TURN ONS: Black hair, A tight ass, Lingerie; Especially panties, Two tits a hole and a heartbeat, The smell of water, Staring at the sun, Chasing rainbows, Salt in my wounds, and Things that go bump in the night.
TURN OFFS: Having to forage in a jungle just to eat pie, Taking one step at a time, True lies, and Imitation plastic.
Best Reason to Get to Know Me:
I'm the coolest that's ever come around. You'll notice things get hotter whenever I'm in town. I mean I gotta be the coolest who else could it be? Everybody knows who's really cool; Me. Let's face it, I'm the greatest, I'm Mr. Number One. My hometown built a statue to their favorite son. I mean I gotta be the coolest. I'm just a ball of fun. I mean I'm definitely the greatest. I'm also the coolest. You can't leave a package like me sitting on no shelf. Let me tell you I'm so cool, I'm gonna save a little for myself. Who is the coolest? I mean how do I look? You know the day I was born, there were these four dudes up on a hill, they said they saw this star hanging out over town and the whole world seemed to stand still. It made the Sunday papers. I guess it proves for sure, I am the coolest. I am the greatest. I am the baddest. I am the smoothest. I'm just the best. Not to mention humble.