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atomic14er
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Profile Headline: Free beer tomorrow!
Last Login: within 7 days
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About Me
Username: atomic14er
Gender: Male
Body Type: Athletic
Ethnicity: Asian
Hair: Black
Eyes: Brown
Weight: 180 pounds
Height: 5 inches
Age: 117
City: Planet Mongo
Country: United States
Sexual Preference: Straight
Drink: Moderate
Drugs: Experimented
Marital Status: Single
Occupation/Major: For compliance reasons I can not disclose this information
School: I drove by it once or twice.
Favorite Food: tender pink meat
Automobile: yup, I have one.
About Me: I have a great sense of humor. I am someone who enjoys absent-minded creative banter, and who enjoys reciprocation. In short, I like people who are more concerned with being themselves than with trying to over please other people. You also have to be really smart, so if it takes me ten minutes to make a witty comeback, it shouldn't take you ten minutes to figure out that i'm retarded!
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Interests & Hobbies
Meaning of Life: Do as you see fit, as long as you are not bothering me.
Five Things I Can't Live Without: A little bit of this, and a lil bit of that, my whiskey, your mom, and some sort of other materialistic item I can't think of.
Favorite Books: Books are becoming antiquated. Al Gores invention of the internet has made more information available to everyone, more than what can be contained in books.
What I Like To Do For Fun: Absolutely nuttin.
Favorite Songs: eh whatever.
Favorite Movies: I like sci-fi B movies, and i like movies that doesn't suck. hollywood is starting to get really lame. try harder guys!
Craziest Thing I've Ever Done: I've eaten grapes that contain seeds! Dialed 911 and hung up. I've turned my eyelids inside out. Picked my nose in public. Crop dusted people in confined spaces. Yeah, I can get pretty cray cray!
If I Could Be Anywhere Right Now: New Zealand, so I can tell everyone I was in Middle Earth. Austria circa 1856 -1866 to see if Freud was abused as a child, everything would make so much sense if he did. Fox News headquarters to cut the power, it would be considered a mission of mercy. Lastly I would like to teleport to the top of Mt. Everest. It would still count as having climbed it if I climb down, right?
Hobbies: Staying away from actual work.
Talents: i have a developed sense of self. i have a connection with the outside world. i can speak the language. i know how to communicate better than the majority of Americans. i formulate equations and ideas while in the shower. i enjoy beer and cheap diner food. i teach Russian cosmonauts to withstand zero gravity. i read newspapers upside down. i do crossword puzzles in sharpie. dolphins depend on me for their communication with the human world because they find the rest of the human race ignorant and naive to their ways. i instruct arabic children spanish in french. i am a race car driver. i am a master of the death touch. i hunt for jellybeans in the spring to bring down the population. i have advised 13 U.S. Presidents concerning international and domestic affairs. i know 140 distinct bird calls. i won the 1999 spreadsheet and collating world championships and then again in 2002. i have seen every movie ever made, twice. i am able to guess a person's weight, shoe size, IQ, and social security number with 88% accuracy. i have the world's largest collection of scorpions. i am a world renowned fashion designer known for my dynamic use of corduroy. my skill level at the tambourine is said to be 'perfection.' i have 20 published novels that are written in a language that i personally developed. learning the language will require 15 years of rigorous study. a small tribe in africa have a season of celebration in honor of me. i gave up my career as a gangsta rapper after 3 platinum records because i wanted to give other young boys from the hood a chance at success. 21 different women have proposed to me. i single-handedly solved the Y2K bug. in my spare time i design roller coasters that are so frightening they will only build them in japan. i invented the ampersand to win a bet i had going with Charlie Sheen. I was the first man to join a turkish monastery where i spent 5 years of my life counting grains of rice and raking sand dunes. i can run a 3 minute mile. i have tested positive for ESP. i can crush diamonds with my toes. i have never been sick. boxes of chocolates are never a mystery to me and i always know what i'm going to get. at Arby's i can get 5 for $4. the government of Italy pays me $50 million lire on an annual basis simply for being handsome. George Carlin told me that i am funnier than him. i don't drive a car because i am escorted by government officials to wherever i need to go. i am exempt from paying taxes because the IRS feels it is a waste of my time. last, but not least i like the beer/booze!
Perfect Mate: Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
Perfect Date: May 12
Turn Ons/Offs: Light switches!
Best Reason to Get to Know Me: A talented and gifted individual who cannot come to terms with the fact that he can achieve amazing feats and thus spends most of his time stressing himself out and running from reality via sleep or alcohol. He is an abuser of things made for abuse,(ie; liver, bar stools, tender pink meat).He is king when it comes to playing Ro Shambo. In addition, he is usually correct, about everything!
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