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AssCork

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About Me

Username: AssCork

Gender: Male

Ethnicity: Caucasian

Weight: 5 pounds

Height: 2 inches

Age: 38

City: #00000

Country: United States

Sexual Preference: Straight

Smoke: Light

Drink: Moderate

Drugs: Never

Marital Status: Single

Occupation/Major: Professional Asshole

School: Had enough of both, thank you.

Favorite Food: Italian, Sushi, anything sandwich-based

Pets: None. But I love both cats and dogs.

Automobile: Truck. (No I will not help you move)

About Me: The best thing about good advice is not that the words stick with you, but that it changes the way you perceive the world.

Tags: brutal, jedi, cork

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Favorite Models: TestCam3 TacoBeIIe Vampette CandyCrushed

Interests & Hobbies

Meaning of Life: 42. (Everyone knows that)

Five Things I Can't Live Without: Good friends, good food, good drink, good smoke and GREAT bandwidth.

Favorite Books: Big Sherlock Holmes fan. Can't go wrong with most of the stuff from Neil Stephenson or Nancy A. Collins

What I Like To Do For Fun: Reading. Geeking. Sketching. Enjoy a good live performance (music, burlesque, illusions, etc). Bit of a movie-goer, too.

Favorite Songs: A 'Genre' person, mostly dark electronic. I've been known to enjoy everything from Dean Martin to Peter Steele. But prefer anything from 'Apoptygma Berzerk' to 'White Zombie'. Songs currently at the top of my 'Recently Played' list are; 'Messin With My Head' by K.Flay 'Wizard' by Black Sabbath (Covered by Bullring Brummies) 'Imagine' by John Lennon.

Favorite Movies: Saving Private Ryan, Bicentennial Man, Road to Perdition, Payback (Directors Cut), Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch, First Contact.

Craziest Thing I've Ever Done: Depends, here's a few things I've done. Made a pair of pants that displays my 'coin-purse' without the whole 'package' showing. Wore them around town and only two people noticed. Skydiving. Built a Butane-propelled launcher for golfballs (gets *hella* distance). Built several large medieval weapons (catapult, trebuchet). Doesn't get a bowling ball as far as we thought :(

If I Could Be Anywhere Right Now: I'd be in an abandoned Nuclear missile silo that's been converted to studio apartments.

Hobbies: I went fishing once, came back with a deer. Guys all told me I suck at fishing, but keep askin me to go huntin. Went hunting, came back with a damn Sasquatch. We're gettin' married in the spring. I fucking HATE the outdoors now. Seriously afraid of what would happen if I went camping. Guy that taught me how to fish went camping once. Came back with COLD FUSION. (pretty sure he fucked that up)

Talents: Master of the Under-Handed Deed.

Perfect Mate: Goth / Sophisti-Goth that is intellectual and well-read enough to know what she wants in a mate. Independent, yet willing to _share_ life with someone (and not be a 'dependent').

Perfect Date: A moonlit dinner and walk at Stonehenge. With some swimming once down the cliffs.

Turn Ons/Offs: On: Confident in thyself. Passionate about *something*. Offs: Stupidity (not the same as ignorance), Pretentiousness, Solipsism (look it up), Self-deceit, Herd Conformity, Lack of Perspective, Forgetfulness of Past Orthodoxies, Counterproductive Pride, Lack of Aesthetics

Best Reason to Get to Know Me: Armchair psychiatrist. I've seen/heard enough that I can at least offer an ear w/o being judgmental, and can give objective advice if asked.

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