Interests & Hobbies
Meaning of Life:
Beavis not know how to answer this question correctly due to his lack of functioning brain cells or a normal size penis. Wait, now I can have an answer. Does a man know what's in a person's heart by the color of his skin, sexual orientation, or religious beliefs? Probably not. Unless you grab his foreskin and put a little pinch between your cheek and gums before painting his ass blue. So all you narrow minded pucks stop being judgmental! Its hard enough making your way through this stinky sewer of a world humans have created! OK?
Five Things I Can't Live Without:
1. Pedro-my penis. 2. Prom baloons.
Favorite Books:
All of the Walter McHooterson self- help books for belligerent midgets.
What I Like To Do For Fun:
On the days I was responsible for creating the lunch menu at my job as a chef, I would walk to work wearing my mom's used / worn / soiled panties for inspiration. By the time I got to my Chinese restaurant, every cat in the neighborhood was following me.
Favorite Movies:
Beavis Does Buttheads Bunghole.
Craziest Thing I've Ever Done:
When I was 15, I participated in a student exchange program with a school in Israel. My host family was a fun loving happy group and the men liked to wear these funny little hats that made their heads look like a penis. These guys became so attached to me that the entire community gave me a special nickname. They called me Putz which I was told is a term of endearment for a person of limited mental capabilities, whatever that means. I miss the fun games we engaged in almost every day, except for when they would wake me up late at night, blindfold me, and drive me deep into the Sinai desert and leave me with the sheep. Sometimes, it would take weeks to find my way back to the kibbutz.
Hobbies:
Counting the pimples on an unconscious politician's buttocks.
Talents:
Pleasuring your butt. Pleasuring my butt. Pleasuring an unconscious politician's butt.
Perfect Mate:
Someone who has a tight connection to my anus. Butt chugging frat-boys.
Turn Ons/Offs:
Turn on-The real ATM (Ass To Midget). Turn off-when coarse scrotum hair sticks to the roof of your mouth.
Best Reason to Get to Know Me:
I suffer from DBS or Dry Ball Syndrome. It's a rare disease involving the sweat glands that lubricate and cool my testicles. Unfortunately, mine stopped working many years ago due to repeated exposure to an enzyme in my dad's saliva.