Interests & Hobbies
Five Things I Can't Live Without:
Oxygen, carbon, nitrogen, potassium, hydrogen.
What I Like To Do For Fun:
I make God kill kittens.
Craziest Thing I've Ever Done:
Surviving past 21
If I Could Be Anywhere Right Now:
I would be white-water rafting in the morning, paragliding at lunchtime, a spot of tobogganing in the afternoon, with a traditional Maori hangi for dinner, pearl diving after dark, and finally falling asleep in a gigantic hammock while trained koalas serve fine wines and cheeses.
Hobbies:
At night I dress up as Christian Bale and strike terror into the hearts of criminals.
Talents:
See 'Hobbies'. And a huge dick, obviously.
Perfect Mate:
A ballerina with (at least) a C-cup. Jewish princesses are most welcome. My minimum requirement for orifice accessibility is two holes, although all three is ideal.
Perfect Date:
We meet at dusk in the Botanical Gardens, under the Giant Sycamore tree, whose huge roots plunge deep into Mother Earth (though I assure you, this isn't an Oedipal thing).
I'm wearing only chaps and Joker makeup, you've got your best lederhosen on. The final rays of light sparkle redly against your toenail polish, from the feet you're wearing as earrings.
We slide together like dwarf penguins on thin ice. I fondle and embrace your ventral lobes as you writhe beneath me, leaf litter clinging tenaciously to your buttocks.
You bite my earlobe, and the blood frenzy begins. Suddenly we both climax, exploding with ululating cries beneath the rising gibbous moon, as giant eagles swoop down upon us and bear us away...
Best Reason to Get to Know Me:
I'm a time-travelling alien, the last of my kind... oops, sorry, that's the DVD my housemate's watching.