Interests & Hobbies
Meaning of Life:
Never go down on a woman that wipes forwards
Five Things I Can't Live Without:
air, food, drink, doctors (including ambulances and hospitals) and pants
Favorite Books:
Colouring books (it would have been pop up porn books, but I still have the eye injury from before)
What I Like To Do For Fun:
I like to invite hobbits and small people to my house, have them stand behind me while I put my hands behind my back, and let them poke their arms through pretending to be my hands. Then I pay them lots of money to wank me off during a private, so their little hands make my cock look huge.
Favorite Songs:
Belgian Hardcore Trumpet
Favorite Movies:
Anything with naked women and guns in
Craziest Thing I've Ever Done:
Stood on top of the pool table in a Heavy Metal Bikers pub and showed everyone my elephant impression..at least 12 times during the evening..then ran round the car park to show them how small my nipples got when cold..Fortunately my friend got me out of there when a big gay bald biker wanted to take me home for a private viewing ..phew
If I Could Be Anywhere Right Now:
it would be in the tree of your garden with a telescope..er..I mean dinner at yours :-/
Hobbies:
Re-arranging my sock drawer and ironing my cock flat so I can slide it under doors and scare old ladies
Talents:
I can breathe through my ears
Perfect Mate:
A mirror with a hole in around waistheight
Perfect Date:
1. Preferably with a woman that isn't dead or made of plastic/rubber and filled with air
2. My hand
Turn Ons/Offs:
Turn on's = Women with a sense of humour
Turn off's = Women with a penis (ok, I don't mind really, as long as it's not bigger than mine)
People that suck the end of thier own trousers
Best Reason to Get to Know Me:
You'll laugh, you'll cry..it will change your life