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oar9fi

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Profile Headline: oar9fi

Last Login: 6 years ago

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About Me

Username: oar9fi

Gender: Male

Body Type: Slim/Petite

Ethnicity: Caucasian

Hair: Brown

Eyes: Brown

Weight: 123 pounds

Age: 45

City: Sarasota, FL

Country: United States

Sexual Preference: Straight

Smoke: Herb

Drink: Light

Marital Status: Single

Occupation/Major: Kitty helper. (feral kitty rescue!) & Pizza delivery

Pets: Lots of kitties. 3 are inside & 3 outside. (plus the feral/strays I feed)

Automobile: yes

Friends

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Favorite Models: Cutebbw7

Photo Galleries

My Kitties!

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My pics

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Random stuff

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Interests & Hobbies

Meaning of Life: "You can pray & meditate until you turn blue and nothing will happen outside of your pathetic mind... What is mind? (No matter.) What is matter? (Never mind!) ...The stupider is looks the more important it probably is..." -Bob Dobbs

Favorite Books: The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldrich, A Scanner Darkly, V.A.L.I.S. ( by Phillip K. Dick)

What I Like To Do For Fun: (1.) Act like a dumbshit and they'll treat you like an equal. (2.) Don't just eat that hamburger, eat the HELL out of it! (3.) Fuck it if they can't take a joke.

Favorite Songs: Guided By Voices, The Pixies, Polvo, Chuck Ragan/Hot Water Music, Fugazi, The Archers of Loaf, Modest Mouse,Portastatic, Sonic Youth, Built To Spill, The Halo Benders, Tortoise, Pavement

Favorite Movies: Tim & Eric's Awesome Show,Better Off Dead, Twin Peaks, Rick & Morty, MST3k, Paranoia Agent, Adventure Time! Dan Vs.

Hobbies: Monitoring police & DEA comms (spying on the spies...) Any cool radio related stuff like shortwave... Helping & caring for cats!

Talents: Ok... you know the trick where a guy asks a girl if she can touch her elbows together behind her back? I can actually do it... Is being super flexible a talent?

Perfect Mate: Someone who's bored & wants to chat.

Turn Ons/Offs: I love bellies! I only like +size girls. Not many on here are my type. (It's kinda like digging through trash to find something nice) Don't care about boob size, Small ones can be cute, big ones can be fun... RESPECT: disrespecting models is NOT cool Putting up with it for the $$ isn't cool either (Its YOUR chat room!) Just my opinion... whatever floats your boat!!!

Best Reason to Get to Know Me: Huh? Well then. Because, like "I PICK THE FUCKING PLEASURE OF GODS & GODDESSES out of my nose Pardon my language, but YEEEEEHAW, I'm busting a gut and ripe to throw a loaf! For I speak ONLY the fucking Truth, "Fuck'em if they can't take a joke!" I am the last remaining Homo inCorrectus, I don't give a shit if there's an afterlife. I just want to know if there's any cute girlies up there! I am the goddamn Man of the Future! I'll drive a mile so as not to walk a foot; I am a human being of the first god damn order! Yes, I drank the Devil under seven tables, I was shanghaied by bodiless fiends and alien C.E.O.'s from a corporate galaxy, and I got away with their hubcaps then sold 'em on Craigslist! I cannot be tracked on radar. I wear nothing uniform, I wear NO god damn uniform. Yes baby, I'm 23 feet tall and have 13 rows o' teats; I was suckled by a triceratops, I once gave the AntiVirgin a high-protien tonsil wash. I'm a bacteriological weapon, I fart plutonium. Power plants are fueled by the sweat from my brow; when they plug ME in, the lights go out in Hong Kong. I weigh 666 pounds in zero gravity, Come and get me! The wheels that turn are behind me; I think backwards! I do it for fun! My imagination is a fucking cancer and I'll pork it before it porks me! They say a gazillion is the highest number. Well I can count to a gazillion and one. I use a python for a prophylactic; I'm thicker, harder and meaner than the Keystone XL pipeline, and carry more spew. I can freeze your seed before it even hits the bathroom tile! YEE! YEEE! I kidnapped the future and ransomed it for the past, I made Time wait up for me to bleed my lizard. Who'll spill their juice? Who'll gouge with me? Who's candle will I fart out? _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ *Whoop Whoop!* I'm ready! So step aside, all you butt-lipped, neurotic, insecure slabs o' wimp meat. I'm a Crime Fighting Master Criminal, I am Not Insane! I'm a screamer and a laughter, My physical type cannot be classified by science, I communicate without wires or strings. Each night I hock up a lugee and spit out the Sun. Opiates are the mass of my religion. I'll live forever and remember it afterwords. Come on and give me cancer, I'll spit up the tumor and butter my bread with the juice! I'm supernatural, My droppings bore straight through the earth and erupt volcanoes in China! (and yes, I also have a triple backbone.) Give me all your Slack! When I told Jesus I wouldn't go to church he smiled and SHOOK MY FUCKING HAND! I have my OWN personal saviors, I change 'em every hour, I am a god damn visionary, I see the future and the past in comic books & broken beer bottles. I eat black holes for breakfast. I can steer my own god damn evolution! *Yip, yip, YIPEEEEEEE!* I'm so stupid the Speed of Light can't slow me down and Gravity won't tug at my cuffs! When the Rapture comes, I'll make 'em wait for me to finish! They'll never clean *my* cage! Now give me some more of that..............CLICK!!! (Tape runs out, and a strange fresh smell lingers in the air like the ozone generated from an arcing electrical wire) Disclaimer: Unlike the rest of my profile, everything you just read in the above is the absolute undisputed truth.

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