THE COUNTRY of TEXOARKLA In case things get a little tougher during the next few months, we In LOUISIANA, TEXAS , OKLAHOMA & ARKANSAS have a plan. Maybe you don't know it, but LOUISIANA , TEXAS , OKLAHOMA , & ARKANSAS have a legal right to secede from the Union . (Reference the Texas/Louisiana-American Annexation Treaty of 1848.) Us TEXOARKLANS love y'all Americans, but we'll probably have to take action since Barack Obama won the election and is now the President of the U.S.A. We'll miss ya'll though. Here is what can happen: 1. Barack Hussein Obama, after becoming the President of the United States , begins to try and create a socialist country, then TEXAS , LOUISIANA , ARKANSAS and OKLAHOMA announce that they are going to secede from the Union .. 2. George W. Bush becomes the President of the Republic of TEXOARKLA . You might think that he doesn't talk too pretty, but we haven't had another terrorist attack and the economy was fine until the effects of Barney Frank and the Democrats lowering the qualifications for home loans came home to roost.. So what does TEXOARKLA have to do to survive as a Republic? 1. NASA is just south of Houston , Texas . We will control the space industry. 2. We refine over 90% of the gasoline in the United States .. 3. Defense Industrywe have over 65% of it. The term 'Don't mess with TEXAS ,' will take on a whole new meaning. 4. Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of TEXOARKLA will need for the next 300 years. What will the other states do? Gee, we don't know. Why not ask Obama? 5. Natural Gas - again, we have all we need and it's too bad about those Northern States. John Kerry and AlGore will just have to figure out a way to keep them warm... 6. Computer Industry - we lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications equipment - small companies like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Nortel, Alcatel, etc.. The list goes on and on. 7. Medical Care - We have the research centers for cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world, as well as other large health centers. 8. We have enough colleges to keep educating and making smarter citizens: University of Texas , Texas A&M, Texas Tech, University of Oklahoma , Oklahoma State University, UL-Lafayette, UL-Monroe, LSU, Louisiana Tech University, University of Arkansas, Arkansas State University , Baylor, Rice, TCU, SMU and MANY more. 9. We have an intelligent and energetic work force and it isn't restricted by a bunch of unions. Here in TEXOARKLA, we are a Right-to-Work State and, therefore, it's every man and woman for themselves.. We just go out and get the job done.. And if we don't like the way one company operates, we get a job somewhere else. 10. We have essential control of the paper, plastics, and insurance industries, etc. 11. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the TEXOARKLA National Guard, the TEXOARKLA Air National Guard, and several military bases. We don't have an Army, but since everybody down here has at least six guns and a pile of ammo, we can raise an Army in 24 hours if we need one. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call the Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over the Texas Rangers. 12. We are totally self-sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs, and several types of grain, fruit and vegetables and let's not forget seafood from the Gulf. Also, everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good. We don't need any food from somewhere else. 13. FIVE of the ten largest cities in the United States and THIRTY TWO of the 100 largest cities in the United States are located in TEXOARKLA. And TEXOARKLA also has more land than California , New York , New Jersey , Connecticut , Delaware , Hawaii , Massachusetts , Maryland , Rhode Island and Vermont combined. 14. Trade: FIVE of the ten largest ports in the United States are located in TEXOARKLA. 15. We also manufacture cars down here, but we don't need to. You see, nothing rusts in TEXOARKLA so our vehicles stay beautiful and run well for decades. This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of TEXOARKLA in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have. Now to the rest of you folks in the United States under President Obama: Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President Obama will be able to drive around in his big 9 mpg SUV. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes. You won't have any TV as the Space Center in Houston will cut off satellite communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes, but since AlGore has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas as long as you survive the 2000 years it will take to get enough heat from Global Warming. In other words, the rest of ya'll in the USA are screwed! Signed, The People of TEXOARKLA P.S. This is not a threatening letter - just a note to give you something to think about! Sleep well tonight 'cause the eyes of TEXOARKLA are on YOU!! If you've left the State, you might want to think about moving back.

The European Union comissioners have announced that aggreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short). In the first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard 'c' will be replased with 'k'. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome 'ph' will be replased by 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20 persent shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go. By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' by 'z' and 'w' by 'v'. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and similar changs vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After ze fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.