Interests & Hobbies
Meaning of Life:
This is a very deep question and I have given it a lot of thought. When I was a young boy, my mother use to say to me Danny, bend over and grab your ankles because the circus is coming to town. As I reflect back on those conversations and what transpired after, I am convinced my mother was preparing me for life. Also, If I had a peso for every ass I've given the kiss of life, I would be a very wealthy man.
Five Things I Can't Live Without:
Ass, air freshener, rubber gloves, nose hair tweezers
Favorite Books:
Fifty Shades of Gay, Dead Men Dont Suck Dick, The Making of the Trump Presidency (I Think It Was The Trousers)
What I Like To Do For Fun:
Yodel, Leave the toilet seat up, drink from the toilet, explore the many ways a man can get stinky finger
Favorite Songs:
All songs by Menudo, Tall Midgets In Distress, and Mauricio The Well Hung Guinea Pig
Favorite Movies:
Danny Takes The Stinky Cheese Up His Tired Ass. Its a home movie. I made it myself. The Passion of the Shithead, also a home movie about my extreme love for the boy band Menudo
Craziest Thing I've Ever Done:
Insert my head in a fat mans ass. It was an accident! Honest!
If I Could Be Anywhere Right Now:
Doing strange things to my grandfathers testicles
Hobbies:
I collect anal hair samples of male celebrities
Talents:
I can tell what you ate for dinner by smelling your buttocks
Perfect Mate:
Wild women! The rippin and a tearin, the rippin and a tearin! If she likes to wear big old shorts, this is considered very sexy in my culture. LexiePearl. Today I am a completely devastated man! Things were going so well with my new girlfriend! Then we decided it was time to consummate the relationship! After we undressed, I showed her my penis and asked her if she knew what it was. She replied with a giggle, its a pee pee. My sweet naive, virgin baby...this is a cock, I proudly boasted! She giggled again and said Ive seen plenty of cocks, that is a pee pee!
Perfect Date:
The evening would begin with my date and I smelling my grandfather's stinky scrotum and pretending that this is good. Then we would dine on a gourmet meal consisting of the finest cheeseburgers in all of Colombia. After, we would take a long walk on the beach and talk shit to the migrating penguins
Turn Ons/Offs:
Turn on- ducks, butt plugs, man panties, pulling someones finger, clean air, tuna, and I love the smell of ass in the morning.
Turn off- oily stool, hemorrhoids, plastic hip joints, toilet paper that is too rough, Donald Trumps hair, being gang raped by raccoons, having my nutts tasered by the Popes security guards
Best Reason to Get to Know Me:
I am the ass master! I am also a very important and influential female impersonator in the Barranquilla area. Olfateas los apestosos culos de los angeles y pretendes que esta bien.