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ForestTrump

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Profile Headline: I need to pee

Last Login: 1 week ago

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About Me

Username: ForestTrump

Gender: Male

Body Type: Little in the middle

Hair: Blonde

Weight: 240 pounds

Height: 75 inches

Age: 39

City: New York

Sexual Preference: Straight

Occupation/Major: Billiionaire, playboy, fashion icon

School: Phlegmtown State College

Favorite Food: Human titty milk

About Me: The day before my 25th birthday, my girlfriend Jenny and I were talking to my Uncle Donald. At first, we were curious why a successful man would deliberately wear his hair that way but after awhile, the talk turned playful and I revealed to my Uncle Donald that my ambition was to become President of the United States. He carefully pondered my words and then said if I tried hard enough and greased enough wheels, that any idiot could become President of the United States. It looks like he was right.

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Interests & Hobbies

Meaning of Life: Life finds a way! Listen to the farts of a million butterflies as they evolve over the eons. Do they laugh and joke about it? Do they ask each other to pull their fingers? Do they need little tiny cans of lemon air freshener? Think about it.

Five Things I Can't Live Without: My money! Your money! Big titties! Crayons! Wide lined paper! Thorazine!

Favorite Books: The Combover Handbook, Overcoming Tiny Hands, 50 Shades of Stupid Is As Stupid Does

What I Like To Do For Fun: Hostile takeovers, long distance running.

Favorite Songs: Pecker Head Feet by The Honkey Podiatrist

Favorite Movies: Forest Trump, Shaving Ryans Privates, Danny Kiutt Has The Tiniest Cock On Earth

Craziest Thing I've Ever Done: Buy an apartment building with that idiot, Jared Kushner. UPDATE!!! Ive just returned home after spending a month in Colombia with my new friend, Danny Kiutt! I met Danny on the MFC site and we have a lot in common. Anyway, my time in Colombia was punctuated with nightly drinking binges and lots of yodeling! In fact, we would drink every night until I passed out! I must admit, I am a lightweight when it comes to booze. One thing that puzzled me, every morning after our wild drinking escapades, I would wake up with a really sore butthole! Danny said he didnt know why this could be happening. Neither did his friends, known collectively as The Gauchos. Now that Im back home in New York, the problem has cleared up but I am feeling oddly unfulfilled. Until next time mi amigos!

If I Could Be Anywhere Right Now: On a shrimp boat on the Gulf of Mexico

Best Reason to Get to Know Me: I am a dedicated friend and servant to those I love! This one time when I was 12, Uncle Donald and members of our family were dining with the royal family of Saudi Arabia. The food was spicey, greasy, and smelled like the breath of a thousand sea sick camels but we didnt want to insult our hosts so we ate that shit anyway. Unfortunately, uncle Donalds tummy started to rumble and shake and within minutes, he did The Queen Mother of all sharts! The sound frightened the children and several of the older women began to cry. Then the smell hit! The King threatened to call out the military and break off relations with the USA! He then threatened a Jihad against bad hair if the culprit did not confess. Uncle Donald leaned over and whispered in my ear I promise to buy you a gerbil and a roll of electrical tape if you take the blame. I did and the King smiled and laughed and told me to go and clean up. Uncle Donald volunteered to supervise so he could remove the evidence. Anyway, a major international crisis was averted and I got my first gerbil!

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DannyKiutt

Hola home slice! Glad to hear you are back home! Hey Forest, hows your sister?

anarossanna

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